YOU can just picture the conversations behind the scenes ahead of this week's PMQs. "How can we make people care about this grubby David Cameron business?" asks Keir Starmer. "Is it going to cut through with the English public, who are busy getting drunk in beer gardens and going wild in the aisles of Primark?"

"Don't worry, I've got a plan," pipes up an adviser. "There are only two things the English public care about right now: the lifting of lockdown restrictions ... and catching bent coppers."

In the end it was Boris Johnson who uttered that immortal phrase, in response to Starmer's suggestion that Ted Hastings and his anti-corruption unit might be needed to get to the bottom of whether the cosy relationship between Cameron and his former colleagues crossed a line. Once again the Labour leader's colleagues let him down badly, with tumbleweed blowing across the benches following his cringeworthy attempt to seem like one of us.

READ MORE: PMQs: Boris Johnson claims Tory attack on Scottish children's bill is 'fictitious'

At one point it seemed like he might have had an ace card up his sleeve, asking: "Is the Prime Minister aware of any other government official who had commercial links with Greensill or any other lobbying role while working in government?" It's notable that the PM failed to answer, instead suggesting that if his opponent has any such information he should feed it into Nigel Boardman's inquiry. Perhaps he will, or perhaps he has, but it would have been good if he had pressed for a proper answer.

All eyes were on Ian Blackford following the news that the UK Government is taking the Scottish Parliament to the UK Supreme Court over two bills – including one protecting children’s rights –  that were passed unanimously at Holyrood. And oh boy did the pot call the kettle black, with Johnson saying that his own government challenging these pieces of legislation was “simply an attempt by the SNP to stir up constitutional chaos”. The nerve!

He claimed this was just another “fictitious bone of contention”, but provided no actual explanation for the legal move, instead taking the opportunity to bash the SNP’s record on education. Blackford then went on the defensive, reeling off child-related Scottish Government achievements, before ending with a dramatic “see you in court!” A casual observer would be left none the wiser as to why this legal challenge was happening, and unfortunately might believe the SNP really were the ones stirring up trouble. Children’s rights may be a more obviously emotive topic, but wouldn’t it have been helpful to frame this for what it really is – an attempt to put MSPs (even Tory ones) back in their place?

Bravo to Labour’s Vicky Foxcroft, who defied the Speaker’s instructions by starting her question in sign language only, thus demonstrating how hearing-impaired viewers experience the Prime Minister’s interpreter-free press briefings. Special mention too to her colleague Matt Western, who treated his question like a school English assignment and fitted in a proverb (“the fish rots from the head down”) some homonyms (Big Ben’s bongs replaced by big-donor bungs), and alliteration (dishing the dosh) before getting to his question about the greasing of wheels. “I don’t believe he should have spoken in those terms,” comes the reply.