A TORY MSP appears to be raging about about a council officer who tried to "cancel Christmas" in Falkirk.
You might think that means the woman in question went round the town relentlessly tearing down people's decorations without a care in the world, like some sort of modern-day Ebeneezer Scrooge.
Nope. According to the Express, Stephen Kerr slated Falkirk Council's equalities and human rights officer Farah Faranza after she advised staff to consider saying "happy holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" if they were uncertain of the person's beliefs.
She explained that this would be more inclusive, given that not everyone celebrates the traditionally Christian holiday.
Quite unbelievably, he said her actions amounted to "making 1984 a reality".
[Meanwhile, the Tories are doing better than anyone at trying to replicate the living conditions of that time period.]
But that's right, a slight suggestion of changing language to respect everyone's beliefs is the same as living in a world of constant government surveillance, according to the loudmouth Tory MSP.
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He said: "The SNP are wasting taxpayers’ money on hiring people to try to police the language people use.
"When Falkirk Council are considering closing school swimming pools, recreation centres, and community halls, how can it be right for the council to employ people who tell people not to use the word ‘Christmas’?
“Rather than try and make 1984 a reality, the SNP should get back to basics and properly fund the services that actually improve people's lives."
To be clear about the SNP part, Faranza stood for the party in the Upper Braes ward in 2017 but lost out. Not like Kerr to pounce on any opportunity - however tenuous - to criticise Humza Yousaf's party.
If he wants to play that game, The Jouker can think of a fair few Tory candidates who the party might not want to be associated with again.
In her message to staff Faranza apparently said "Merry Christmas" and "happy holidays", "carry very different implications", stressing the latter was a "more inclusive greeting that acknowledges and embraces the various holidays celebrated around the same time".
Hardly a dystopian ruling is it? Calm yersel Kerr...
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