I’ll admit, I’ve never been a huge fan of fireworks night.
The organised displays are too busy and require too much walking to be enjoyable for somebody whose ankles are as weak as mine.
I resent the steady chorus of boom boom BANG that sees the occasion stretched from a single night to an entire week.
The only fireworks I truly enjoy are the ones that light up the political landscape.
Westminster might be fizzing and whizzing with scandal and conflict just now but FMQs on Thursday was a far more muted affair.
You hope for a Catherine Wheel but you get a slightly damp sparkler. Such is life.
READ MORE: Tory whip Stephen Kerr rattled as MSPs laugh at his climate change ‘research’
Maybe our politicians are weary from the COP26 festivities. It does feel a bit like Scotland is having to put its best face on for the guests. I don’t know about the First Minister, but as soon as the conference is over I’ll be wearing joggers and a scowl for the rest of the year.
Thankfully, both opposition leaders avoided what I’m sure must have been an almost irresistible urge to somehow shoehorn Nicola Sturgeon’s photo with Joe Biden into their questions to the First Minister.
Douglas Ross went on drugs in prisons. He’s happiest when on the natural Tory ground of "tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime".
I’m looking forward to reading the bit about corruption and financial misdeeds in the next Scottish Tory manifesto.
Anas Sarwar asked about excess deaths and NHS waiting times.
"This week we have seen emergency doctors tell us that there have been 231 excess deaths due to delays at A&E. That’s 231 people who could have survived if our hospitals were properly resourced.’’ He went on to say that our NHS is more than 3000 nurses short and claimed that Nicola Sturgeon’s response was not to fix the problem but to tell people not to go to A&E.
In response, the First Minister acknowledged that our NHS is working under extreme pressure right now. She paid tribute to NHS staff and said that her government was taking steps to address waiting times.
"Everybody recognises the relationship between long waits in A&E that are not clinically justified and increase risk of harm to patients. Which is why we are investing in trying to cut A&E waiting times.
"That brings me to the issue of the new guidance that has been issued for A&E. And this is where Anas Sarwar can’t quote the Royal College of Emergency Medicine when it suits him, and ignore [its views] when it doesn’t suit him.
"We are not turning anyone away from A&E. This is about ensuring that people get the right care in the right place."
READ MORE: FMQs recap: Nicola Sturgeon takes questions at Holyrood after busy week at COP26
She went on to read a quote from the vice president of the Royal College of Emergency Medicine saying they support the new guidance.
Following these initial exchanges, the presiding officer made a futile plea for more succinct questions and answers from the two leaders.
They ignored her and - like every fireworks display you’ve ever been to - the whole thing dragged on far too long and everybody was crabbit by the end of it.
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