IF you’re trying to sell Scotland as a “playground” to a gaggle of billionaires, it might help to get your facts in order.
But Discovery Land Company (DLC) – the US firm looking to portion off 8000 acres of Scotland at Taymouth Castle for the private use of the super rich – seems more intent on selling a fantasy.
That would explain why, in an annual magazine published by the firm, they have attempted to sell their development on Loch Tay as some kind of dreamland.
The Highlands are full of “delectable drama” and “viridescent hills” that see “endless swaths of moss and mist mingle in a hypnotic conjuring act”, according to the introduction to the severely overwritten article-cum-sales-pitch.
READ MORE: Fury at plans for 8000-acre 'private playground' for mega rich on Scots loch
It goes on to tell any super rich potential holidaymakers who may be reading that Loch Tay is “devastatingly scenic” and the castle “legendary”.
In an effort to sell the “legendary” aspect even more strongly, the DLC magazine moves into the completely imaginary.
It states: “In 1842, Taymouth would host Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. So smitten was the queen with the getaway, she was inspired to purchase Balmoral Castle in Edinburgh years later.”
Queen Victoria did indeed purchase Balmoral in 1852, but as any child would be able to tell you: it’s not in Edinburgh. The castle in Scotland’s capital is, unsurprisingly, called Edinburgh Castle.
It’s roughly 100 miles from there to the royal residence at Ballater in the Cairngorms. The DLC magazine helpfully tells us it would take about 34 minutes to travel that distance by helicopter.
In fact, there’s a whole list of locations around Scotland alongside how long it would take to reach them by helicopter, giving some idea of the type of clientele the development is hoping to attract.
READ MORE: Why we're fighting to stop our loch becoming a billionaires' 'playground'
Luckily, DLC’s private communities provide “everything” anyone might need, from food and drink to medical services and even educational programmes, according to the firm’s founder Mike Meldman.
So the super rich clients who buy into the Taymouth development won’t ever need to be in contact with any uncouth locals. They can simply fly in and out as they please.
“Scotland is the ultimate outdoor playground,” project manager Tom Collopy told the firm’s magazine. For them perhaps. For others, it’s a home.
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