The National:

ALISTER Jack has never been a man we’d describe as being in touch with how the vast majority of Scots think and feel, but his Daily Express column calling on us all to join with him to celebrate the King’s coronation took things to new levels.

Within it he claims people in Scotland "hold the monarchy very dear”, based on the outpouring of emotion from Balmoral to Edinburgh after Queen Elizabeth died.

But it would seem the man has been living under a rock since last September given a Lord Ashcroft poll this week confirmed the majority of Scots see the monarchy as “mostly an English thing” and would vote to become a republic in the event of independence.

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The poll also found a whopping 77% of Scots think the royal family should be scaled down and its costs significantly reduced. Some 58% of Scots said the monarchy was “mostly an English thing”.

The Secretary of State for Scotland claims Charles cares as much about the country as his mother did, but the only examples of this Jack can muster are the monarch visiting royal estates at Balmoral and Dumfries House. Ooft, really getting to the heart of communities during a cost of living crisis there. Bravo.

Jack also tries to prove Scotland cares about the coronation by attempting to list a number of events going on up here in celebration of the King’s crowning.

But beyond some screens in Princes Street Gardens and Glasgow Cathedral, it would seem he couldn’t find much evidence of people joining in with the “marvellous shared experience” he’s fantasising about. 

And don’t get us started on how he says it will “enhance Britain’s reputation on the international stage”. How exactly? By making people who can’t put their heating on or food on the table push that very immediate concern aside and watch how the other half live in their gold carriages and palaces? Gie us a break.

Jack asks us to join in with this “great moment for our country and for us British people”.  Sorry Alister, but I really think you need to wake up and smell the roses. We’re aw good, thanks.