The National:

SCOTS are gearing up to celebrate the Queen’s Jubilee – apparently.

STV was greeted with the response you’d expect after they broke that news to Scots – using a picture of England.

The news service had shared a story listing Jubilee celebrations in Scotland when it came in for some pelters.

The list includes the much-publicised big screens which the Tories will have put up in Edinburgh, events at Balmoral – which the Queen literally owns, and a “Dachshund Fun Day” at Thirlestane Castle which does sound brilliant.

READ MORE: The British state is now actively mocking the people of the UK

“Checked the official website and only THREE events happening ‘within 100 miles’ of my house and that’s at Balmoral and two parties on Deeside,” one social media user responded to the list.

The dearth of parties in Scotland celebrating the monarchy might explain how STV chose to illustrate their story – with a stock pic taken hundreds of miles away in England.

The image in question was actually taken in 2011 in Exmouth on Devon’s south coast – which is about as far away as you can get from the Scottish Border without leaving the UK.

“The fact they’ve had to use a pic of an English town here tells you all you need to know,” one Twitter user joked.

“Dear @STVNews. Similarly to all previous jubilee celebrations, I will not be visiting Exmouth,” another added.

“That's not Scotland? You couldn't find any street party photos from Scotland could you?” a third wrote.

User @piquanor quipped: “I'm definitely geared up! I've got the beer and wine in, plenty crisps and snacks and I've looked out all the DVDs we want to see again.

“All that plus Netflix, Amz Prime & Disney+ – we're all set for a good few days of no broadcast TV until it's all over. Happy days!”

“Scots gearing up for media blackout,” another user added.

The reality of what Scotland has planned to celebrate the Queen’s Jubilee is a slightly different affair.

Hyperlocal networking service Nextdoor has created an interactive map for users to spread the word about any celebrations happening in their area.

Among a smattering of apparently real picnics and coffee mornings, there’s some questionable events – including a “teenage beauty pageant” hosted by a particular prince …