The National:

RESIDENTS of a well-known west of Scotland town were no doubt waiting with bated breath by their televisions on Monday night to hear what Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would say about them and their historic settlement.

The people of Dumbarton were no doubt greatly disappointed, therefore, when interviewer Oprah Winfrey somehow failed to elicit a response from the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, or as they are known in Scotland, the Earl and Countess of Dumbarton, about their intentions regarding a wee visit to the town. That’s because the Grand Ole Oprah didn’t ask them – shame on her!

We can confirm that Dumbarton was not mentioned in the broadcast interview, or even in the alleged 115 minutes of extra unused material which is passing strange given that the Sons and Daughters of the Rock are ardent supporters of the Earl and Countess – or not, as the case might be.

READ MORE: Buckingham Palace releases statement in response to claims of royal racism

For the Jouker is hearing rumblings from the ancient capital of the Brythonic kingdom of Strathclyde that the natives are more than a little ticked off at the antics of their Earl and Countess. There is talk of a campaign to strip the Dumbartons – sorry, Sussexes – of their titles which were given to them by Her Majesty the Queen on the eve of their wedding in May 2018.

They were also made Duke and Duchess of Sussex and Baron and Baroness Kilkeel after the small fishing village of that name in County Down in Northern Ireland.

The couple have not been to Kilkeel but have been to Sussex, visiting Chichester, Brighton and Bognor Regis in the county in October 2018 – there is no truth in the rumour they went to the last-named town to check out the report that Harry’s great-grandfather King George VI really did mutter “bugger Bognor” as his last words.

Yet almost three years since they became Earl and Countess, Harry and Meghan have yet to visit Dumbarton. They were preoccupied with the arrival of Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, and his sister is on her way, but they would have been welcomed at any time in Dumbarton where the council could surely have fitted them up with a wee but n’ben in the town’s salubrious suburbs of Bellsmyre or Brucehill.

It was not to be however, and now the Earl and Countess of Dumbarton seem set for a very long stay away from “their” town.

They could make it up by giving Archie a local title – Lord Renton has a ring to it.