I’M annoyed.

I’m just putting that out there so you have the opportunity to bow out nice and early and go and look at photos of kittens or something.

My broadband broke this week. Despite my expert twiddling, dutiful resetting and ferocious untangling of cables, it has thus far refused to spring back into life. I thought it was positive vibes and practicing gratitude that was getting me through this latest lockdown, but it turns out it was Netflix.

I can’t even watch TV the old-fashioned way because the aerial cable doesn’t stretch and I hadn’t envisioned a scenario where turning the black box off and on again wouldn’t fix any internet troubles.

You live and you learn.

To add insult to injury, I am contractually obliged to watch FMQs each week so I had to use my phone data to stream the damn thing.

Or to put it another way: I had to pay money to listen to Ruth Davidson speak.

Thank God Richard Leonard is out of the picture otherwise I’d have surely went bankrupt before he got to the end of his first question.

Paying to watch FMQs changes things a bit. I wanted the politicians to be as succinct as possible and I wanted them to only say things that brought me joy.

This year has been nothing but a disappointment so far, so you can imagine how well that went.

Ruth Davidson lead on the vaccine roll-out.

“The Government has finally accepted that Scotland’s vaccine roll-out is lagging behind the rest of the UK and the pace needs to be picked up, with the Health Secretary Jeane Freeman telling parliament yesterday that we need to vaccinate faster in Scotland than we have been doing.

“It is in all of our interests that this works and it works well, so let’s focus on what the First Minister is going to do to accelerate the programme.”

Ruth Davidson went on to ask the First Minister why the number of people being vaccinated on Sundays was lower than during the rest of the week.

In response, Nicola Sturgeon said that the Scottish Government had “very deliberately” taken an approach of vaccinating the most clinically vulnerable groups first.

“Ninety-eight per cent of older residents in care homes have now been vaccinated with their first dose as well 87% of over-80s living in the community.

“That is really important because that is the way to have the most impact in reducing serious illness and reducing the number of people dying.”

“I heard Michael Gove on the radio this morning not willing – or not able – to give a figure for how many people in care homes in England have been vaccinated as opposed to being offered the vaccine.”

Ruth Davidson then asked whether the Scottish Government would accept the UK Government’s offer of army assistance to speed up Scotland’s vaccine roll-out.

WATCH: Nicola Sturgeon tells Labour MSP to switch off phone mid-FMQs

The stand-in Tory leader didn’t ask whether she could get dressed up the camouflage gear and shadow them as they went about their work, but I think it was implied.

The “send in the British Army” chat has been doing the rounds for a few days now.

Come to think of it, it started around the time my broadband went down. Coincidence? I think not.

Nicola Sturgeon didn’t hold back in her response: “Any help that the armed forces give to Scotland – whether it’s on vaccines or, as it was during the early stages, PPE or the logistics of setting up the NHS Louisa Jordan – it’s not a FAVOUR from the Secretary of State for Scotland.

“It’s OUR armed forces that the people of Scotland pay for through their taxes. So let’s forget the suggestion that it’s somehow the UK Government doing Scotland a favour.”