I entered the Miss Scotland pageant – this is what I learned

I’m the self-declared “feminist friend”, and I’m not naive to the definitively negative reputation that beauty pageants get. Many would argue that our progressive society should do away with them altogether, viewing them as vehicles to objectify women and to push unattainable beauty standards.

As an avid campaigner for girls and young women’s rights, I wanted to know if this was really still the case. After all, I’d never been on the inside- never modelled, never competed in a pageant, and to be quite frank, never been great at smiling for a photograph full stop. So, I entered.

I can happily say that without a doubt, being a Miss Scotland finalist is the best thing I have ever done for my career, confidence and platform. There’s a nuance to this though.

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I received more congratulations than I ever have before – much more than when I’ve achieved things others may consider to be purely “off my own back” such as when I have run marathons or when last year I received a nomination for an award from the United Nations.

I was overwhelmed with well wishes, and could hardly keep up with my inbox. Although Miss Scotland is about much more than how you look, most of this praise largely was complimentary of my appearance.

While this praise put my mind at ease that I wasn’t going to stick out like a sore thumb amongst the nine other beautiful finalists, I am still querying whether this was newfound confidence, or merely validation.

Something that was difficult to deal with, although not unexpected, was the fair amount of criticism I received – gentle or otherwise – from friends I’ve made through the women’s sector. Can you really be a feminist beauty queen? It’s a question I’m still asking myself.

What I can’t drive home enough though, is how impressed I was at the steps Miss World and especially Miss Scotland have taken to be more with the times.

I can’t say that how you look isn’t important but I think it’s completely fair for me to say that the focus is never on the shape of your body, the length of your hair, or anything about your face structure. It’s much more about the way you present yourself – are you polished, do you stand tall, are you smiling with your teeth?

Miss Scotland 1975 flanked by two other finalists (Archive image)

Furthermore, instead of being judged on how you look in a swimsuit, what is given more consideration in the Miss Scotland competition is the quality of your character, based on merits such as your philanthropy, caring about social causes, your academics and your careers.

But can’t all of that be good enough, without you having to be slim, blonde and beautiful on top of that? It’s nuanced, and I completely see how I could be taken as a bit of a hypocrite – I have preached for years that how you look is the least important thing about you.

That’s what Miss Scotland sold to me too, and having gone through the whole process, I can report back that I really didn’t feel like anyone cared how I looked when I had passed the first round of applications. I think it’s a very feminist thing to do something you enjoy without much care as to what people think of it.

I feel that the problem isn’t pageants, but rather the attitudes towards women who compete in them, or women who put themselves forward for any opportunity that is public-facing, or really, just women in general.

The world would be a better place if nobody cared what anybody looked like, but I do think women should be allowed to celebrate who we are and the things we do.

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I enjoyed the fact that charity work is given the most weight in deciding the winner of Miss Scotland. Beauty pageants have historically given women a platform to stand up for the causes they care about – think the Miss Universe interview section.

Each woman there is educated, informed and passionate in their answers. The fact that they are only given this platform because they are beautiful enough to be in the competition is a societal problem.

I completely understand that I have only been given so much spokesperson work because yes, I work hard and I dedicate my life to change making, but also because I am white, middle class and look and sound a certain way.

The opportunities that I am so fortunate to have had do not even reach those less advantaged than me. Our society has a long history of only listening to people who look and sound a certain way, to the voices which are considered palatable.

That’s why I don’t think beauty pageants are huge drivers of social inequality that they are made out to be, but rather they only exist because of inequality.

The fact that beauty pageant contestants fit the patriarchal beauty standard does not make them any less dedicated to ending inequality in our society, or make their views any less as valid, but we do owe a duty to others to make that space more inclusive, and give voices who would not normally have been heard a platform – something I do genuinely believe Miss Scotland is evolving to do. This may not be the case in all pageants, but Miss Scotland truly made me feel heard.

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I do, however, understand the concerns about the lack of diversity. In beauty pageants across the board, I don’t know where this problem is coming from – do organisers have a set appearance criterion for entrants, or do women who even slightly don’t conform to beauty standards not feel confident enough to apply?

For me, the only problem I have is my insecurity – I don’t think I am represented in the pageant world in a merely vain way, as I was rather an ugly duckling growing up.

However, I have never been treated differently or unfairly because of how I look or where I was born. I do want to see girls from every kind of background celebrating the way they look and the things they do up on the catwalk, and I echo calls for more diversity in the pageant world.

The best thing about Miss Scotland was the girls I met. I have never been more inspired by a group of women, who are beautiful, confident and clever, and who know it too – which meant there was no comparison, and no spitefulness.

Truly just a room full of girls who want you to succeed and are happy for each other. Every girl deserves an experience like this. Both judges and contestants alike are a privilege to know.

While the girls made me feel so comfortable, on the internet, men I didn’t know scrutinised me in a way I have never experienced before. They called me shallow, ugly and entitled. This really made me realise that as a woman, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. If I think I’m attractive enough, I’m full of myself, if I don’t, I’m insecure and fishing for compliments.

When women exist in a world that tells us the most important thing about us is the way we look, if we feel beautiful, we may as well own it.