All you need is love? What Valentine’s Day means to creatives

ONCE upon a time, emperor Claudius II of Rome banned marriage, as he believed unmarried men made better soldiers. A priest named Valentine strongly disagreed and decided to perform marriages, regardless. A defiance he paid a hefty price for – his life. But not before he wrote the first-ever “Valentine” note to the woman he’d fallen in love with.

Fast-forward centuries later and modern lovers are, thankfully, free to express their love and ­exchange handwritten cards to show their affection for one ­another. Branded a loving if traditional gesture by some and a profit-driven commercial holiday by ­others, Valentine’s Day remains part of the cultural calendar to this day.

Acclaimed novelist and journalist Andrew O’Hagan falls very much into the latter category. For him, Valentine’s Day is far from romantic and ­instead nothing but a capitalist excuse to make more money.

“Mainly, it’s an excuse for merciless conglomerates to make money selling cards and chocolate, but so is Christmas, and I’ve learned to accept it. My wife couldn’t care less, which is one of the reasons I ­married her,” he says.

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This year, he’ll be spending February 14 in New York, where he has a series of meetings about his upcoming novel, Caledonian Road.

“I’ll be having dinner with a bunch of writers and filmmakers – one of whom was recently ditched by her late partner. To me, it’s quite traditional to have dinner on Valentine’s Night with people who’ve ­fallen out of love. It keeps you sane,” Andrew says.

Regardless of his views on Valentine’s Day, Cupid’s arrow already struck the author of Mayflies.

He recalls the best date he has ever been on: “It was with my wife. She made me a roll-up, and we kissed in the rain. What else is there?”

Andrew does have one advice for those who might be looking for love. “If you go back to a guy’s flat and he has no books, don’t fuck him.”

Glasgow-based rapper Bemz, aka Jubemi Iyiku (below), finds it rather sweet that people want to celebrate on February 14.

“I think it’s cute if people want to celebrate – I just hope they’re treating their significant others with the same love and energy every other day of the year,” he says.

Any plans for this year?

“I will be treating myself to love and all the other stuff,” he laughs.

What is easy to love about him?

“The whole package – from my flaws to my smile,” Bemz says. “I think I’m a caring person and I give out a lot of love too.”

He does have one piece of advice to pass on when it comes to love.

He says: “Don’t settle and also remember to show love, how your partner wants to be loved and not how you would want to be loved as these might be two different things. Flowers don’t excite me but if I know it excites them, get them flowers.”

And for the broken-hearted? “A bottle of tequila” will do.

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As a touring musician, Iona Fyfe does not get to be in the same place for a long period of time. Over the years, the folk singer had to learn to put herself first.

“At the beginning of my career before Covid, I found that everything was so chaotic – I was coming and going, trying to make things work,” she says. “Long distance relationships weren’t working out, ­relationships in my own city. At the end of the day, I just had to cut my losses on a lot of these and put myself first.”

Speaking of heartbreak, she says: “I think we’ve all had those types of ­heartbreak where you literally feel like your heart is at the bottom of your ­stomach for days on end and you’re ­struggling to eat and you can’t think about anything else. It feels like a limb has been cut off.”

At times, she had to learn to be a ­person, without the one she was with.

“I tried to realign myself to what I want to achieve, what I’m doing all by myself without being in a unit with someone else, that I’m a person without the person that I was with.

“I think the main way that I’ve coped with heartbreak is probably revisiting things that have given me huge amounts of joy, whether that would be seeing loads of friends or picking up hobbies that I had gotten rid of,” she explains.

The folk singer believes relationships can sometimes be seen as timelines.

“If you meet someone and your life timeline works and it can work ­adjacently with that person and it’s going in the right direction, then that’s amazing. ­Really cherish the time you have with them. But if one person’s timeline seems to wobble or go elsewhere, then that’s maybe it.

“If fate intervenes and your timelines don’t add up anymore, then the best thing to do is move forward away from one another.”

Scots author Emma Grae (above) remembers a festival in London, where she had her “best-ever date”.

“The best date I’ve ever had was probably to a ­music festival last summer. It was only for the day, but it was so warm and generally just good fun – although I’ll admit I didn’t join in when the crowd started moshing,” she recalls.

In love, Grae believes “Whit’s fur ye will no go by ye”. Although, she does not see the appeal of Valentine’s Day.

“To be honest, it’s just another day,” she says. “I think you should always be celebrating love with nice gestures, whether it’s with a romantic partner or your friends and family!”

For Glasgow-based singer-songwriter, Priya Ferguson, Valentine’s Day is all about showing appreciation to the one you love.

“We’re marking Valentine’s Day this year with my boyfriend – it’s our first Valentine’s Day together,” she says. “We don’t do anything crazy. I don’t think that you should go over the top, but ­having a cute dinner, flowers, a little gift, I think it’s nice.”

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Not everyone might agree. “I feel like a lot of people don’t like it, but I think the people that don’t like it are just ­single. When I was single, I was like, ‘I can’t be bothered with Valentine’s Day’,” she laughs.

In The Meadows in Edinburgh, she had her best date. “It was summertime, it was really sunny and we had a little picnic, it was really sweet. Then we went to the ­National History Museum.”

According to the singer-songwriter, you have to love yourself first – then the rest will follow.

“You can’t love someone else properly unless you have respect for yourself first. I found that I need to be in a pretty good space with myself before I can give my time and attention to someone else.

“Also cringy but true – don’t go looking for love. It will find you when the time is right. I used to always be like ‘Oh my god, I’m single, I’m sad’. But anyone that I was entertaining at that time was not good for me at all and I was kind of forcing it. It’ll happen when the time is right.”

In the past, writing songs has helped Priya cope with heartbreak. “It’s one of the most therapeutic and most self-healing ways possible. Write down how you feel – whether it’s poetry, a song, or putting together lyrics and a melody, anything. Most of my songs – if not all of them – came from heartbreak.”

Bonnyrigg writer Colin Burnett ­believes Valentine’s Day should be every day.

“Valentine’s Day is good as it gives ­people the chance to express their love for their partners – but it’s become too commercial and if you’re in love with someone, I don’t think you need one day of the year to show your partner how much they mean to you.

“Personally, I think that’s something you should do all year long,” he says. “Treat every day as if it’s Valentine’s Day.”

Colin, who recently published his ­second novel Who’s Aldo? Dugs, Drugs And Class, looks for humour in a partner.

“The best date was just going to the ­cinema and for a meal. What made that date so special for me was the girl I was on the date with. She made me laugh a lot and I love a woman who has a good sense of humour. For me, that’s one of the best traits a person can possess,” he smiles.

Even though he says he looks “­miserable in photos”, the author too has a good sense of humour.

“I’m a very kind person and I will ­always look to help ­people if I’m in a ­position to do so. Even if I don’t know the person well, as I always feel people should support one another,” he adds.

If there is one thing to know about a broken heart, it’s that it can always be mended.

Colin says: “There might always be a few cracks on it, but if for some ­reason you’re no longer compatible with ­someone any more, there will always be another spark to find between yourself and another person.

“Even at the time it might not feel like that, love works in mysterious ways, and you might find your soulmate when you least expect it.”