Why does the UK always do so badly in Eurovision?

But why is the UK so consistently low-scoring? Or rather, why does the UK consistently perform so badly? Well, as it turns out, there are a variety of reasons, ranging from the trivial to the political (in a contest that claims to be non-political).

Frankly, a lot of the UK’s entries just aren’t very good. There’s no way to sugarcoat it, but the UK has a proclivity for sending acts that are so bad they’re bad, or so mediocre they’re bad.

For instance, James Newman’s song Embers was not in actuality a terrible song. It was a perfectly OK but forgettable song with awful staging (those giant trumpets are burned into my brain) and a bland performance (despite Newman's charisma off the stage). If it had to compete in a semi-final, I have little doubt that it would have been a non-qualifier.

This is the problem with a lot of the UK’s entries: if they did not have the privilege of being in the “big five”, and thus automatically getting through to the final, there is no way they would make it past the semi-finals. Another bland entry from 2013 was Bonnie Tyler’s attempt at glory, as she sang Believe In Me. However, the public and juries evidently did not, as she managed to come 19th with 23 points.

There are also the straight-up awful entries that truly boggle the mind. One such atrocity is Engelbert Humperdinck’s Love Will Set You Free in 2012. Seemingly going for the vote of the older women in the Euro-fan demographic (and catastrophically completely forgetting that the competition is watched by young viewers across Europe and especially in the mainland), the middle-of-the-road crooner came second last with just 12 points.

Still in Love With You from 2015 is another awful attempt that I try to forget (it's in these moments where maybe I’d rather we had the utterly forgettable kind of awful that Engelbert Humperdinck gave us over this kind of awful). An electro-swing song that doesn’t need much description other than the fact that it’s an electro-swing song performed by what looked like a couple who came straight from a Great Gatsby-themed Halloween party, it came dead last and got five points.

But there’s more to the UK’s bad results than the average to terrible songs and performances they send. There are also politics at play. To bring us back to 2021, Embers wasn’t actually a bad song, as I’ve already said. I would go so far as to say that there were far worse songs there (Germany… I’m looking at you. But given that Jendrik “doesn’t feel hate” he probably won’t care). They managed to gain at least a few points. However, a little thing called Brexit that’s been happening for the past few years has not won the UK many favours with the rest of Europe.

Even before the kick-off of Brexit in 2016, the UK was not well-liked due to other political reasons resulting from the long build-up to Brexit and rising anti-immigrant and anti-European sentiment within the country.

There’s also the fact that the UK hasn’t taken the competition seriously. It was seen as just a joke. A farce. And Europe could tell, which is something that certainly did not help the UK’s case.

But this year, things might actually change. Sam Ryder’s Bowie-esque, rock-influenced pop-ballad Space Man is fighting it out with Sweden and host country Italy for second place in the odds, with the predictions constantly changing.

It’s looking like the odds might not just be giving false hope, as fans from the UK and across Europe have been responding extremely well to Sam’s entry, citing the good song, stellar vocals and the extreme likability and charismatic performance skills of the TikTok star. From what we’ve seen so far, the staging is also a sight to behold, with glowing metal bars encasing Sam in a type of prism while he’s adorned in diamonds that cover his black jumpsuit in celestial patterns. What a relief after having to see those comically massive trumpets and that eyesore of a leather jacket on James last year.

No matter the result on Saturday night, it’s clear that the UK is actually, finally, trying when it comes to Eurovision. Sam’s song is one that will likely do well with juries and the public alike and, judging from the responses, it’s very possible that this will be reflected on the night.

But whether the UK comes second, or fourth, or even in the top 10, it is almost guaranteed that this will be its best result in a long time and that Space Man will be a marker of change for the UK’s Eurovision career ... until Scotland is entering separately.