AS I write, it’s like Star Wars outside. After the restrictions of the pandemic, Guy Fawkes Night is back with a bang. More accurately, multiple bangs, each louder than the previous one.

I wonder how many traumatised pets are trembling under beds and behind sofas.

Perhaps the launch of a new TV network should have been brought forward to coincide with bonfire night. DogTV has been created specifically for dogs and their owners and will air scientifically tested programming which aims to alleviate symptoms from conditions in dogs such as separation anxiety, loneliness and stress.

The service, which will also have shows designed to help owners better understand their pets, launches tomorrow. DogTV has been developed following research into animals’ physiological and psychological needs, moods and responses to audio and visual effects to help them feel more stimulated, relaxed or help them to sleep. The colours, audio frequencies and camera alignment which are used by the network have been adapted to cater for dog senses.

The channel will also feature programmes for humans, including shows by celebrity dog trainer Laura Nativo, who will provide tips on how to live better at home with a pet, as well as programmes that provide simple recipes for dogs. No Kennomeat here.

Professor Nicholas Dodman, chief scientist for the network, said: “With numbers of dog owners rising over the pandemic, and owners now returning to work, DogTV helps canines to feel relaxed and comforted until their owners return home.”

Animal trainer Victoria Stilwell said: “People think that DogTV is a bit of a weird concept at first, but when I tell them the amount of research that has gone into this – that this TV channel can help their dogs while home alone, improve their lives considerably and help with different stresses and anxieties – they get it.”

Yes, we get it alright. Pet ownership is a booming industry.

Not long ago, I would have reacted to the notion of telly for Toto with ridicule and disbelief.

Now that grandpuppy has romped into our lives, nothing will ever surprise me again about this strange new world of dog ownership.

She visited last week, sporting a fetching new harness in baby blue (a bargain in Aldi!) and armed with a new ball purchased specially to reside permanently at ours (as if we don’t have enough trip hazards of our own). We were asked if we could take delivery of a parcel in case they were out (home-working has its benefits). The next day a large box the size of a small fridge arrived addressed to Skye and weighing half a tonne.

It turns out this is a food parcel. Apparently, it contains “Freshly Blended Tailor-Made Dog Food Developed By Vets & Nutritionists”. It must be good if it merits all those capital letters.

Meanwhile, we’re told DogTV will be available on a range of digital platforms, including Android and Apple devices … depending on Toto’s tech of choice. I suspect smartphones for dogs are already under development.