IT was a couple of months ago that Eilidh Doyle took the decision to hang up her spikes but in her heart, she’s known it’s been coming for much longer than that.
And so while she is understandably sad to be retiring from a sport she has dedicated most of her adult life to, she knows now is the right time to call it a day.
“I remember really clearly when I decided that was it,” the 34-year-old says.
“I was at Grangemouth doing a session and when I did make the decision, even though I knew it was the right thing to do, I cried.
“But actually, I’m glad I was upset because it showed how much it meant to me.”
The 400m hurdler is Scotland’s most decorated track and field athlete with 17 major championships medals and one of a tiny group of Scottish athletes who have completed the full set of Olympic, World, European and Commonwealth silverware.
She first made her mark on the international scene with silver at the 2010 Commonwealth Games before going on to become a mainstay of the British team and an integral member of GB’s 4x400m relay squad, winning Olympic bronze in Rio in 2016.
Having given birth to her first son, Campbell, in January of last year, Doyle targeted a spot in Team GB for the Olympic Games in Tokyo and when it was postponed by twelve months due to the pandemic, it appeared to be a blessing for Doyle, giving her more time to regain her fitness.
However, her comeback was hampered by injuries, the most recent being a torn calf and a broken toe in the space of just a few weeks earlier this year.
The Opening Ceremony of Tokyo is now only 50 days away but it is not the physical challenge that has got the better of Doyle, it is the emotional and mental toll of competing as an elite athlete that has been by far the more testing aspect of her return.
“It was the mental side of it rather than the physical side that was hard for me,” she says.
“I still love the sport and I still love training but recently, the appeal of going away to race and travel the world has changed, the desire to do that has gone.
“If I’m being really honest with myself, I’ve probably not been quite the same for a good few years – since coming back from the Commonwealth Games in 2018. I could quite happily have stopped then.
“But there was always something to pull me back in like the European Indoors in Glasgow the following year.
“Then when I had Campbell, the motivation to get back was Tokyo.
“But if you spoke to my husband and my closest friends, they’d say I didn’t have the same drive I used to.”
Had Tokyo gone ahead as planned last summer, Doyle is fairly sure she would have called time on her career there and then.
So another year of pushing her body to the limit, as well as jugging being a new mum, has not always been easy.
But despite the challenges, she does not regret her decision to try to comeback for a second.
“I’m really glad I tried to come back because it’s got me back in shape,” she says.
“It’s been good to show that physically, you can get fit again after having a baby.
“But then it all got dragged out by another year and I did start thinking ‘why am I doing it?’.”
The initial plan had been for Doyle to be accompanied to Tokyo by her husband, Brian, who is also her coach, and their son, but Covid restrictions put an end to that dream.
And so instead of pulling on her spikes in Japan’s Olympic Stadium in a few weeks, Doyle will be on her couch at home watching the action. Having been in the thick of things in both London and Rio, it will be quite a change but one that she is confident she will feel no remorse about, particularly as she has left the sport on her terms.
“I’ll be interested in Tokyo from a different point of view because it’ll be a very different Olympics from what I’ve been used to. But I’m a fan of the sport so I think I’ll enjoy it.” she says.
“What will make it easier is I always wanted to leave on my terms and still loving athletics and thankfully, that’s what I’ve been able to do.”
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