SCOTLAND’S bottle deposit return scheme has been making headlines in recent weeks.

There is cross-party agreement that the scheme is a good idea in principle. We have to be seen to be doing the right thing by the planet before it inevitably becomes uninhabitable and all life forms on earth are swallowed in a fiery blaze.

In the time we’ve got left, recycling seems an appropriate way to distract ourselves from overlong contemplation of our own destruction.

The disagreement that we have seen recently comes from the implementation of the scheme – particularly the unintended consequences it could have on small businesses.

Over at FMQs, Douglas Ross was arguing for the scheme to be paused – something that all three candidates in the SNP leadership contest agree is the best way forward.

‘’At midnight on Tuesday, businesses in Scotland were legally required to sign up to the SNP-Greens Deposit Return Scheme. Thousands of producers rightly decided not to, because the scheme is an absolute shambles’’ he said.

READ MORE: FMQs: Douglas Ross shouts 'f***'s sake' as proceedings suspended

He went on to ask how many businesses had actually signed up to the scheme – a question, he said, Lorna Slater had repeatedly refused to answer.

The First Minister said she understood the concerns of businesses but “frankly, the sheer opportunism of some opposition parties who have supported this scheme … to now indulge in knee-jerk opposition … the opportunism of that is breath-taking.”

Opportunism! In the Scottish Parliament?! The home of our democracy?! Whatever next?

Nicola Sturgeon went on to accuse some unnamed politicians of “blatant distortion” over the bottle scheme row before naming Alister Jack as the culprit, because in a few weeks she’ll be offski so there’s no need to play nice anymore.

The First Minister insisted that the most relevant statistic was market share, not the total number of businesses signed up, and “90% are now included in this scheme”.

In response to the accusation of political opportunism, Douglas Ross began a gleeful rundown of the comments made by the SNP leadership candidates who had also called for the scheme to be paused.

He was thwarted mid-sentence as yet another protest broke out in the gallery, causing business to be suspended.

Before the feed was cut, however, Douglas Ross could be heard muttering an exasperated “f***’s sake” as he sat down: which is probably the only time I’ve ever felt in true alignment with the Scottish Tory leader.

I wouldn’t mind if the protests were interesting.

Remember when those climate protesters got naked and smooshed themselves up against the glass in the House of Commons? That was good value disruption.

Anything involving nudity, paint or interpretative dance I can get on board with – but an unintelligible yelp from the public gallery is too dull to be justified.

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When the protester was ejected and the session resumed, Douglas Ross gave a sheepish apology for his unparliamentary language.

"To you, the chamber, and everyone listening – including my mother, probably – I apologise." He went on to criticise Kate Forbes’s indyref plan. Because – you guessed it, folks – now is not the time to be talking about independence.

Nicola Sturgeon pointed out that it is no secret that the SNP are the party of independence.

"I think we’re going to increasingly see the country united behind independence as the best way to free ourselves from the impact of Tory governments – or indeed from the impact of Labour governments that are often undisguisable from Tory governments – and be in charge of our own affairs and our own destiny," she said.