THERE'S a nip in the air, as summer gives way to the burnt orange allure of autumn.
It’s a time for getting cooried in, making enough soup to feed an army and upgrading your mug to something that can hold a whole pint of tea.
I would say it’s also a time for cranking up the heating but, thanks to the Tories, we’re probably better just layering on the jumpers for the time being.
Autumn is a brief interlude before the frenzy of the Christmas season. Though given that it’s Michael Gove that has been tasked with "Operation Save Christmas", the Santa Stop Here signs might not go up at all this year.
At this time of year, I resent getting changed out of my long johns and fluffy socks, but apparently some people willingly venture outside for recreational purposes. And not just out: OUT-out.
Douglas Ross must be one of those lucky people that just don’t feel the cold, because at FMQs he was getting awfully upset about the whole vaccine passports for nightclubs thing.
READ MORE: Sturgeon tells Ross to 'get off his phone' during heated FMQs in Holyrood
Maybe he’s just hoping that next time Gove tears up a dancefloor in Aberdeen he gets invited along for the ride.
He began by asking the First Minister to accept that the plan for vaccine certification is "not ready" and should be delayed.
The First Minister accused him of "glossing over" a decision taken by the Court of Session on Thursday morning which saw the Night Time Industries Association lose its bid to stop the Scottish Government introducing the vaccine passport plan.
She said it was rejected because the court found that the scheme had been consulted upon; it was not "disproportionate, irrational or unreasonable" and "the scheme was attempting to address legitimate concerns in a reasonable and balanced way".
She said that nobody wanted to see continuing or new Covid measures, but her government’s vaccine passport plan was necessary because the virus hasn’t gone away.
"The First Minister claims she is being candid and clear – if only her vaccine passport scheme was candid and clear!" retorted Douglas Ross.
"This scheme starts at 5am tomorrow morning, but by tomorrow night, we could be in the ridiculous situation where hundreds of people might be at venues where they need a vaccine passport to get in, but if the music is turned off, the exact same people suddenly DON’T need a vaccine passport!"
Aye. And as the beloved Italian chef Gino D’Acampo once put it: if my grandmother had wheels she would have been a bike.
Nicola Sturgeon said that Douglas Ross has form for opposing Covid measures.
"Douglas Ross over recent months has opposed almost every step we’ve tried to take, from face coverings through to certification.
"If I’d have listened to Douglas Ross then we probably wouldn’t be in the position we’re in now – thankfully – of having cases on a downward path."
A now-animated Douglas Ross wasn’t letting this one lie.
"If the First Minister listened to those of us on these benches, she wouldn’t be introducing a scheme from 5am tomorrow that sees hundreds of people get their vaccine passport checked as they walked into a venue, but the music gets unplugged and SUDDENLY – MIRACULOUSLY – they don’t need a vaccine passport at all!"
I’m not disputing that Douglas Ross has at some point walked into a nightclub only to find that the staff have hastily turned off the lights and music and claimed they were shutting early, but this isn’t standard practice.
"No sir, you can’t boogie", isn’t usually the preferred approach of nightclub bosses.
After that performance, maybe somebody should try turning the Scottish Tory leader off and back on again.
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