RISHI Sunak is set to appear in Scotland tonight. At least, that’s what he thinks.
In reality, he will be appearing in the English market town of Darlington, where yet another Tory hustings event is set to take place between himself and Liz Truss.
Last month, when asked whether he would be spending time in Scotland in an attempt to strengthen the Union should he become Prime Minister, he brought up his visits to Darlington as proof of his commitment to the UK - if not to geography.
So, in celebration of the former chancellor’s belief that he will be settling down to a steaming plate of haggis after the hustings tonight, The National has provided a list of cartographically illiterate tourist destinations the chancellor can visit in Scotland.
The Angel of the North
Many people will say that the Angel of the North is actually in Gateshead.
But, in light of Antony Gormley’s recent comments about Brexit being a “tragedy” and his application for German citizenship, the chances of the sculptor hiring a crane and shifting the Angel north to an independent Scotland in the EU have certainly increased.
Stonehenge
The Standing Stones of Callanish on the Isle of Lewis predate Stonehenge by nearly 2000 years. No expert believes they are in any way related.
However, since the chances of Sunak heading that far north are distinctly unlikely, he may as well pretend that they began as a union of equals and continue to prosper without any disagreements or inequality whatsoever.
The Eden Project
The first Eden Project is in Cornwall. But as a second project moves forward in Dundee it may very well confuse the prime ministerial hopeful. It’s just hoped that he doesn’t end up trawling around Penzance looking for a Dundee cake.
Where else can Sunak go? Let us know in the comments
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