WE'VE all been there. Zooming or skyping and looking as if our contributions have been choreographed by the local drunk. Virtual conferences throw up delegates whose script appears to have been tacked to the ceiling, or pinned to a prompt in the room next door.
From which observation I exclude conference chair Kirsten Oswald and Finance and Economy Secretary Kate Forbes both of whom have grasped the essential principle of looking directly at their camera rather than attempting to bodyswerve its attentions. And steering well clear of distracting backgrounds.
Kate Forbes is the SNP’s Emma Raducanu – young, attractive, numerate and articulate. Not sure about her two-handed backhand, but it has to be said that her dress code, location and filming technique are all pretty impeccable.
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For many of we independentistas (irritatingly impatient branch), the debate which followed Forbes was the one we were waiting for. Well, I say debate, but according to Oswald she had received no cards opposing the motion that folk had to fall in behind the leadership line that any full blown campaigning must ensure that it only happens when the public’s health is no longer endangered by the pandemic.
Howandsoever, we did have this proposition proposed by policy development convener, Chris Hanlon, the chap who defenestrated Alyn Smith during the rather brief remodelling of the NEC. These days Hanlon is the last man standing of the group intent on inserting some fresh air and transparency into party proceedings.
You doubt that someone has sent the boys round to remind him of the error of his ways, or that his brain has been carefully rewashed since then.
Yet his speech was a curious mixture of erstwhile firebrand – the people of Scotland are sovereign, let nobody tell you different – and falling in behind the party line. He himself would have set a referendum date the day after the election, but cooler heads than his had explained why we needed to ca’ cannier.
And nobody mixes metaphors better than our Chris. The can is not being kicked down the road, rather the ball has been placed on the penalty spot. As for that much mooted Plan B, it could safely stay in the locker until Plan A’s options had been exhausted.
READ MORE: SNP conference live: All the news and updates from Sunday
As has been the way of most motions, it was passed “overwhelmingly” with the regular 500 plus pressing their vote in favour button and the naysayers struggling to get into double figures. A bit of me longed for some renegade to break through the computer screens and thump a tub or two.
Still and all, rebellion isn’t yet a conference corpse. Hanlon popped up again to second a topical motion to send the Parliament’s Corporate Body hame tae think again. You will recall they wanted the “people’s parliament” to be protected by law from the people.
Happily this motion was also passed helped along by an American aide to an MSP who seemed concerned that Holyrood could fall victim to the same kind of mayhem which overtook Congress last January.
Somehow doubt there’s much danger in Scotland of Trumpian troops sporting Confederate flags and racoon skin headwear laying waste to Miralles’ fine creation. Or remodelling the FM’s office.
Mind you, the SNP representation on the corporate body is only 25% so we might safely conclude that some of these kicks were not necessarily aimed at nationalist backsides.
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