The National:

IT was the man whose birthday in 1759 we celebrate today, and one of his most famous lines was “facts are chiels that winna ding, an’ downa be disputed” from the poem A Dream, which he wrote in 1786.

We’ll come back to that Robert Burns poem later, but first The Jouker must bring your attention to yet another piece of outrageous Trumpery by the Scottish Tory leader Douglas Ross.

For in a piece of fake news that Donald Trump would have been proud of, the Scottish Conservatives have stuck out a leaflet which contains a nice picture of Dougie and his wife Krystle and their bairn Alistair – we only hope the youngster will forgive his father for being featured in a propaganda exercise, especially if he grows up to be anything other than Tory.

On the other side of the leaflet there are three giant headlines stating FACT, FACT, FACT. Just when we thought Ross was helping the First Minister and her team with their Facts message, we looked at what the facts were as stated on the leaflet.

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FACT number one was: “The Scottish Conservatives are the second-biggest party across Scotland.” Now we all know that Scottish Labour has been haemorrhaging membership over the last few years, but they still have more members than the Conservatives, on whom the Scottish Greens are catching up fast and may even have overtaken. The Tories have the second-largest number of MPs, MSPs and councillors, that’s true, but with a membership of around 20,000, Labour are still twice as big as the Scottish Conservatives. So no fact.

FACT number two was: “The Scottish Conservatives are the only party strong enough to seriously challenge the SNP.” That is not a fact, that is just an assertion. If Ross’s pal in London continues his charlatanism, it might be the Scottish Tories who end up in third place in Holyrood – maybe even worse.

FACT number three was: “If you want to stop the SNP, only a vote for the Scottish Conservatives can do it.” Again, that is not a fact, that is merely another assertion. Let’s take the case of tactical voting, for instance – and the Tories are past masters at it – which could mean Ross and co pleading with their members to vote Labour or LibDem to try and take out the SNP.

As for Burns’s Dream poem – it was written as a satirical ode to King George III for his birthday. But with a slight adaptation, it could fit for Douglas Ross: “Far be’t frae me that I aspire, To blame your legislation, Or say, ye wisdom want, or fire, To rule this mighty nation.”