"I’M going to take Ruth Davidson on a bit of a logic journey,” warned the First Minister during FMQs yesterday.
It’s not a phrase I’ve heard her use before, but I like it. The next time my six-year-old wants to debate the merits of sweeties before breakfast, I’m going to channel my inner Sturgeon and take her on a logic journey. We’ll sail along the River of Tooth Hygiene, past the Forest of E-numbers before finally arriving at the Loch of Nutritional Enlightenment.
Ruth and Nicola’s logic journey began when the Scottish Tory stand-in leader asked about the vaccine roll-out. Specifically, the figures. More specifically, the Scottish Government’s OWN FIGURES.
“As the Deputy First Minister has now accepted, the Scottish Government is in receipt of a total of 700,000 doses. But to vaccinate the first of the priority groups – which is care home residents, staff, healthcare workers and everybody over the age of 80 – the Scottish Government, BY THEIR OWN FIGURES, need 560,000 vaccine doses. Again, BY THEIR OWN FIGURES the Scottish Government already had 490,000 doses sitting ready to go.”
“So the Scottish Government was already sitting on enough stock to vaccinate 87.5% of their target groups – and have been, for a fortnight.”
“Today we hear that 309,909 have actually received the vaccine.”
READ MORE: WATCH: Nicola Sturgeon says UK Government had 'hissy fit' over Covid jag figures
I’ve shortened Ruth Davidson’s question because it went on for a while and we’re not getting any younger here. But the gist of it was: numbers, numbers, numbers – BY THEIR OWN FIGURES – numbers, yelp, finger-jab.
To begin the logic journey, Nicola Sturgeon explained that there is a difference between allocation and what we have in hand. She then took Ruth Davidson by the arm and they flew together over the Supply-Chain Field, before hitching a train down to the Let’s Talk About Westminster Valley.
“If Ruth Davidson’s whole argument here is based on the premise that we’ve somehow got 700,000 doses (and remember, the UK Government don’t want us to talk about the total number of doses that have been allocated), if that is the case then that must mean – given that we are getting our proportionate, population-based share – the UK Government, for England, have got seven million doses. They haven’t done seven million vaccinations so presumably, they’re also sitting on supplies for no reason, in the same way that Ruth Davidson is suggesting we are.”
Ruth Davidson wasn’t enjoying the journey so far and had an expression on her face that suggested she would be asking to speak to the manager as soon as she arrived home.
“The simple fact is this is not good enough. The vaccine isn’t getting to GPs at it should. Over-80s are being left waiting when they shouldn’t have to, and government timetables are slipping. What action is the First Minster going to take to get this sorted out?”
They had nearly reached their destination. Sturgeon just wanted to make one final stop, the Lagoon of How Can I Make It Any Clearer.
“If Ruth Davidson, in a programme like this, doesn’t think it is really important and responsible for governments to refine estimates as knowledge of supplies increases then I think it will just be another reason why many people across the country are breathing a real sigh of relief that she’s not standing here [as First Minister] right now.”
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