DONALD Trump has taken his defeat to Joe Biden with all the grace and dignity you might expect.
“I WON THIS ELECTION, BY A LOT!” he screamed on Twitter.
“71,000,000 Legal Votes. The most EVER for a sitting President!” which is true, it’s just not quite as many as the other guy got.
But of course, the half-Scottish tycoon is convinced that he’s the victim of a pretty sophisticated vote-rigging scam.
“THE OBSERVERS WERE NOT ALLOWED INTO THE COUNTING ROOMS. I WON THE ELECTION, GOT 71,000,000 LEGAL VOTES. BAD THINGS HAPPENED WHICH OUR OBSERVERS WERE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE. NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. MILLIONS OF MAIL-IN BALLOTS WERE SENT TO PEOPLE WHO NEVER ASKED FOR THEM!”
Jings.
Though, we suppose, if Trump’s got his finger on the caps lock button, maybe that’ll keep him from hitting that other button.
Because, let's be honest, you wouldn’t put it past him, would you? Don't have to pay off your $1.1bn worth of debts if your creditors have been nuked.
Anyway, if there’s one group of folk in Scotland who know about being beaten at the ballot box, it’s the Scottish Tories.
Paul Masterton, who lost his East Renfrewshire seat to the SNP’s Kirsten Oswald at last December's election took to Twitter to share some friendly advice with the loser in the White House.
"Donald's doing this wrong," he said.
"The correct way to react to losing is:
1. Smile and wish your opponent well
2. Go home, cry a bit
3. Next day, take your staff to the pub (somewhere cheap, you're all out a job)
4. Get a bit drunk
5. Fall asleep on the last train holding half a kebab."
Donald's doing this wrong. The correct way to react to losing is:
— Paul Masterton (@pmasterton1985) November 8, 2020
1. Smile and wish your opponent well
2. Go home, cry a bit
3. Next day, take your staff to the pub (somewhere cheap, you're all out a job)
4. Get a bit drunk
5. Fall asleep on the last train holding half a kebab https://t.co/p0mC6nfmDK
Prertty solid advice.
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