LOCKDOWN week nine. With restrictions easing slightly, Quarter Master has turned his attention to uniform supplies.

If we are to venture out farther than the golf course (and the blinking golfers are back now, so that’s a serious factor concerning our manoeuvres) then suitable regulation face-covering will be essential equipment.

To these ends, the sock-mask has been deployed. QM has been busy going through his smalls in search of hose which have seen better days.

After some strategic snipping, they have been turned into face masks. Admittedly, they are not the most colourful of face-coverings. This is to be expected, as everything in the QM’s fatigues wardrobe is either black, grey, blue or, erm … dark blue (although on high days and holidays, he might push the boat out and sport some civvies in pale blue).

But who needs to look colourful when you’re on a smash-and-grab mission to Tesco to buy more toilet roll?

Rather resourceful use of old socks all round, I’d say. My inferior darning skills have paid off after all.

Beyond the loo roll (we’re down to our last 36) the main reason for Mission Tesco is to source some eggs, which seem to be in short supply. Is this due to an increase in home-baking activity, or are the hens self-isolating?

Last week, QM could source only large “deluxe” eggs, which led to the emergency issuing of a new docket – Reference No LDE 1.xxl – for special use on Sunday mornings only. Fortunately, if the egg shortage goes on much longer, we have back-up supplies. Sensing a long lockdown, QM stocked up on some dried egg for emergencies. A docket for the consumption of said substance has yet to be issued. Meanwhile, we’re still managing to hang on to the last remaining tin of bully beef for a rainy day.

As ever, I apologise for the light-heartedness of this piece. My remit is to try to bring a touch of cheer, so bear with me while I do my best. I know there are folk in desperate circumstances who struggle every day through this pandemic. My heart goes out to the vulnerable and the lonely; the young people who miss their pals; the grannies and grampas who yearn to hug their grandchildren; those who mourn in the most difficult of circumstances; and those who are ill.

Last Thursday marked the last Clap for Carers. There are mixed feelings on what the Thursday clap achieved. But surely it did no harm in allowing people to show their gratitude to those working on the front line, caring for people and providing lifeline services, and uniting streets and communities in showing their appreciation.

If nothing else, this health crisis has perhaps encouraged people to foster friendships with neighbours, or passers-by they might meet in the street on a daily walk, to exchange a hello and a few kind words. At a safe social distance, of course.

Perhaps, in the end, keeping our distance is what will bring us all closer together.