DURING this period of national crisis, I’ve been conscious of the way I’ve written about Jackson Carlaw in the past.
Life is short. I don’t want to fall out with anybody. Especially not somebody like Jackson Carlaw, who has millionaire landowners in his party and will be a useful ally when I want to escape the city for a Coronavirus-free holiday somewhere nice and remote.
I’ve been building bridges with him through my FMQs sketch in recent weeks. REAL BRIDGES. Not the mythical, bridges-that-are-actually-tunnels that his party gets so turned on by.
After all the effort I’ve put into making friends with him, I was surprised when he began FMQs on Thursday with what could only be read as a dig at me and my colleagues.
READ MORE: Coronavirus: Mass gatherings to be cancelled next week says FM
He said: "It may be that partisan rough and tumble is the stuff that excites some of the parliamentary sketch writers, but I believe there is a huge - and understandable - public appetite for detailed information on the coronavirus and the measures being taken to deal with it.’’
Oh Jackson, you break my heart.
Of course we want politicians to work together to lead us through the turbulent weeks ahead. We just want them to do it with a bit of PAZZAZ, that’s all.
That’s the least they can do to compensate us for having to endure FMQs. I’m giving up an hour of my day that could have been spent fighting your uncle Tam for the last loo rolls at Lidl.
Constructive Carlaw asked the First Minister for details about when we will move from the containment phase of the strategy to tackle coronavirus to the delay phase.
The First Minister said she believed that we’d reached the point where it would be sensible to move to the next phase, and she hoped the four nations of the UK would come to an agreement on the next steps at a COBRA meeting being held later that afternoon.
I can’t be the only one hoping that the First Minister Facetimed into the meeting and didn’t attend in person. Not to be disparaging about Boris Johnson or his approach to personal hygiene, but you’d be wary of where his hands had been even outside of a global pandemic.
READ MORE: FMQs LIVE: 'Sharp rise' of coronavirus cases expected today
The First Minister said she expected to see a "sharp rise" in the cases of confirmed Coronavirus over the coming days and stressed the "seriousness" of the situation we are all facing.
She also said that she would be advising the cancellations of mass gatherings of 500 people or more as of Monday. Both to delay the spread of the virus, but also to protect the "resilience" of frontline services.
Tough decisions need to be taken in a crisis - I get it. I just pray the ban is lifted in time for party conference season. Some of us who shall not be named use the jovial atmosphere at conference karaoke to organise their dating schedule for the year. If it does go ahead, I’ll be singing ‘Things Can Only Get Better’. And if it doesn’t, I’ll probably be drinking a nice red wine with Jackson and his pals up in the Highlands.
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