The National:

This is a story you won’t find anywhere much because a) the Yoon press won’t dare upset Boris Johnson and b) it did happen a while back, but The Jouker couldn’t resist it because it involves our fave Minister for the Union – well he is the only one – and that old chestnut about Scottish taxpayers coughing up for police activities caused by London politicians meandering North of the Border and needing looked after.

You’ll recall the Minister for the Yoonion visiting Scotland on July 29 when he took fright at the jeers and catcalls vented his way at Bute House where First Minister Nicola Sturgeon greeted him politely but with the look of a basilisk eyeing up its prey.

Boris went out the Bute Chute, as we have heard it called, leaving by the back door. Admittedly it’s almost two months later but The Jouker can reveal that the bill for Boris’s day trip as picked up by Police Scotland was an astonishing £48,000 and rising.

We can tell you that now because prominent independence activist Martin Keatings decided to try and find out what our national police force had to spend to cover Boris’s substantial bahookey – sorry, provide security for the Prime Minister – by seeking answers under the Freedom of Information laws.

Keatings didn’t take no for an answer – you’ll not be surprised to learn that "no" was the first answer - and credit to Police Scotland’s FoI managers for overturning the original decision not to supply the answer to Keatings on grounds that security could be compromised.

Keatings appealed to them: “This request was refused using a litany of excuses, all of them quite ludicrous. The request asks for a rough estimate of the overall cost of policing involved in the Prime Minister’s visit, not an exact figure. It does not request any classified or restricted information, nor information pertinent to the deployment of police resources, nor any other matter which would otherwise compromise policing in the future.

“The idea that extremists or terrorists could ascertain such information from a rough cost to the taxpayer of policing a state visit is, with respect, quite a stretch of the imagination. It is in the public interest to know roughly how much Mr Johnson’s visit cost Scottish Taxpayers and how much has been taken from other policing as a consequence.

Glory be – the appeal succeeded, with Keatings being told: “Given the extent of the policing operation surrounding the visit, I am not convinced that provision of the associated cost would allow any meaningful assessment to be made as to the likely resource levels at any future comparable visit to the extent that those operations may then be compromised.

“Taking that into account, I am not satisfied that your request has been handled in accordance with the Freedom of Information (Scotland) Act 2002 and in terms of section 21(4)(b) of the Act, I overturn the original response as I do not agree that section 16 of the Act was correctly applied.

“At the time of your request, the costs to date were £46,616. To be of assistance, as at 9 October, this had risen to £48,266. You should bear in mind that this figure may not be final as other costs could still be added to the relevant cost code.

Woe – the best part of £50k blown so that Boris could come, see and run away. We hope the very least (the very, very least) that will happen is that the Eton Messi will put his hand in the English taxpayers’ pocket and cough up at least some of the £48k or more that was blown on a trip where the worst security threat he suffered was people shouting the word "boo!"