ANOTHER day, another ding-dong about independence. Or, to be specific, more manufactured outrage over the possibility of a referendum on independence.

It’s astonishing just how much anger Jackson Carlaw manages to summon from deep within himself about Scots putting a cross in a box.

Perhaps that offers some clue as to why the Scottish Tories have been so silent over the crippling poverty and devastating welfare cuts that their London bosses have imposed on ordinary people. They are clearly saving their anger up for something that really matters. Like the possibility of those pesky Scots escaping the beloved union of unequals.

Carlaw opened FMQs with some breaking news. Namely, that the First Minister is a card-carrying, foam-finger waving, #YouYesYet hash-tagging supporter of independence for Scotland.

"I’m rumbled" she replied. "I want Scotland to be independent. I want the people of Scotland to be able to escape a Tory Brexit. I want the people of Scotland to have the opportunity to choose their own future."

He went on to ask how many referendums it would take before Nicola Sturgeon would accept the result. 2, 3, 4, 5? Ha-ha! How we laughed. What an interesting and original and entirely logical argument.

He continued: "Her track record shows she always loses!"

Nicola Sturgeon gently pointed out that she campaigned for Remain in 2016, and Scotland voted 62% in favour of exactly that. She also reminded Carlaw that he too campaigned for Remain, a fact that he seems to have conveniently forgotten since he so enthusiastically transformed himself into one of the Bad Boys of Brexit.

Carlaw would not be side-tracked. "TWO REFERENDUMS!" he yelped. "How could that EVEN WORK? Would they be held on the same day? Which referendum is her priority?"

"My priority is to give the people of Scotland the opportunity to choose independence and to do so next year" she replied.

"Ah ha!" he bellowed, with all the gusto of a ruddy-faced Hercule Poirot discovering a bloody fingerprint.

"You heard it from the First Minister there. Her priority USED to be education, now it’s independence!"

On the other side of Edinburgh, a man wandered into a restaurant staffed by former Scottish Tory politicians and was asked if he would like tea or coffee. "Tea, please" he replied.

"So you are basically saying that you hate PUPPIES?!"

Back in the chamber, Jackson Carlaw was reaching his final question. Much to the delight of the Scottish Tory benches and the wider world.

"The Scottish Tories will stand up for Scotland’s…" A sentence which prompted an eruption of incredulous laughter from the SNP benches. But they should have waited to hear the end.

"…lifetime decision to remain in the UK." Lifetime? Life sentence more like.

Not wanting to be left out of the Better Together action, Richard Leonard managed to sandwich in a reference to the divisions in Labour over Indyref2 into his totally unrelated line of questioning.

"You threatened to bring down a Labour government!" he shouted.

"Scottish Labour prefer Tory government at Westminster to self-government in Scotland!" replied the First Minister.

I don’t know about you, but it feels as though indyref2 is already underway.