The National:

LABOUR'S UK conference is currently under way, and that means policy announcements ... but it was a reference to Scottish Labour by shadow chancellor John McDonnell that proved most incredible.

The Labour MP had just finished some big reveals – a 32-hour working week, restoring full trade union rights, and free personal care at the point of use in England.

McDonnell then pointed out that a Labour government (remember those?) had already introduced this in Scotland.

Putting a Scottish angle on the policy, he went on: "When we spend the billions needed to guarantee free personal care in England, there actually will be billions more for First Minister Richard Leonard when he takes office in 2021."

No, that isn't a typo – trying to sell his party's policy, he seriously suggested Richard Leonard would win the Scottish Parliament election in 2021.

Let's put this into perspective, firstly by looking at the most recent Holyrood poll, taken for The Times from August 29 to September 3.

That YouGov poll had the SNP on 45% and the Tories in second on 23% for the constituency vote. Labour were at only 13% – just a point ahead of the LibDems. In other words, the SNP polled more than three times higher than Labour.

This was a particularly dismal one – but it fits a trend. The latest polls before that had Labour on 16%, 18% and 16%, with its list vote roughly the same.

When Leonard took over as Scottish Labour leader, his party was polling around 25% in both the constituency and list vote.

Unless you're a Scottish Labour MSP named James Kelly, these numbers will have informed you by now that "First Minister Richard Leonard" taking office in 2021 is about as likely as a coherent, consistent Labour position on Brexit.

Running that YouGov late-August poll through Weber Shandwick's Scotland Votes returns a prediction of 65 SNP MSPs and 12 Labour MSPs.

While Labour does approach "Federalism" as a magic word expected to solve all ills, even they would admit that it might take somewhat more accomplished sorcery to overturn a deficit of 53 MSPs.

Less charitable folks than ourselves might even suggest that McDonnell's stumbles trying to get his statement out were due to his attempts to contain his laughter at having to suggest an FM Leonard.

Still, the Scottish Labour leader will just be relieved someone knew his name.