DEAR Alister,

I don’t think we’ve ever met, but I hope you don’t mind me writing to you like this.

I do so because having just re-read the statement that someone released on your behalf late on Wednesday evening, after your surprise appointment as Secretary of State for Scotland, I thought I would offer you a few words of friendly advice.

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That statement provokes the first of them: always read what is going out in your name, or at least until you would trust with your life the person who is writing the words people think come from you.

Because, alas, your statement started with a blunder – it didn’t even mention your predecessor, David Mundell.

I have had my differences with David over many years but he deserved at least some formal thanks, not least because he flew the Tory flag on his own in Scotland during years in which you were not elected to anything.

But that embarrassing error aside, your political problems arising from the message are also legion.

Let’s start with the assertion that “we will stand up ... against those who would try to impose unwanted and divisive constitutional change”.

It is important to scrutinise every statement for messages that might bear the exact opposite interpretation from the one that is meant. Reading that bit I would want to ask if you are going to stand up against your own party which, despite the fact that it has failed to win any nationwide Scottish election in living memory, is hell-bent on dragging Scotland out of the EU despite the country voting decisively against Brexit.

Believe me, no matter what you think personally, for a very large number of Scots, it is Brexit which is the epitome of “unwanted and divisive constitutional change”, not independence.

You then went on to assert that “we need to leave the EU in a way which works for Scotland and the whole of the UK”. Alister, there is no such thing for Scotland as a “successful Brexit”, just as there is no such thing as a “No Deal” for which we can ever be “fully prepared”, as you put it on Thursday when you doubled down on your assertions.

Don’t take my word for it. You might instead want to listen to Liz Cameron, the CEO of the Scottish Chambers of Commerce, who in commenting on Boris Johnson’s election as PM pulled no punches, telling your new boss to “get a grip” and adding: “We need to know, in concrete terms, what your government will do to avoid a messy, disorderly Brexit on October 31 ... The economy of Scotland and the UK is on a knife’s edge.”

A “No Deal” is that messy, disorderly Brexit, and nothing you can say or do will change that. While we’re on about business, it’s also not a good look for someone worth, apparently, more than £20 million to whinge on about what you call the Scottish Government’s “anti-business and high-tax ideology’’.

To be blunt, it doesn’t seem to have held you back. But it is also not true. The SNP Scottish Government has encouraged and supported business through a range of measures and continues to do so.

It is not, however, anti-business to ask those who can afford it (such as yourself) to pay a bit more so that all our fellow citizens can benefit.

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Anyway, here’s a final thought. It is simply not true to say there is no demand for an independence referendum. Quite clearly the Scottish Government has a mandate for such a referendum, polls indicate that a majority of people want that referendum, and to argue that it was all done and dusted in 2014 isn’t much different from saying that elections are once only, so we will stop voting.

You can, and no doubt will, campaign vigorously against independence But to refuse to countenance the right of the people of Scotland to choose their own future isn’t politics – it is dictatorship In 1980, Gerald Kaufman wrote a little book called How To Be A Minister. It is entertaining and knowledgeable – he had by that time served in government for five years.

I enjoyed reading it when I became a minister in 2007 and I would commend it to you. Every little bit of advice helps.

So here is my final bit: I think you are likely to be the last ever Secretary of State for Scotland.

Nothing personal, but enjoy it while you can.