GORDIE Broon has been at the interventions again. They’re the drug of choice for the man who was once widely regarded as the worst prime minister in recent British history and who was only saved from that ignominy because David Cameron and Theresa May discovered new depths to plumb.

Gordie treats interventions like a junkie treats another hit. The only problem is that the intervention drugs eventually stop working. Not even BBC Scotland can be bothered to work up much enthusiasm these days, although they do still feel obligated to broadcast everything Gordie says live.

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If you tune into BBC Scotland tomorrow, you’ll hear Gordie have an argument with the self-service checkout in a Kirkcaldy supermarket and telling it that endogenous growth theory proves that there is in fact no unexpected item in the bagging area. It’s only Gordie’s massive ego bending the fabric of space-time with its enormous gravitational pull and fooling the scales into thinking there’s a tin of own-brand beans there.

The interventions no longer produce the highs that Gordie enjoyed during the Scottish independence referendum, but they still allow Gordie the comforting feeling that he’s a statesman with important things to say. It’s just a shame he never did any of the things he now expounds about when he actually had the power to do something, and those who do have the power now treat him like an embarrassing relative to be hidden away at the back of the family photo.

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In a speech to the Institute for Government on Monday, Gordie said that the political classes need to find a far better way of listening to and hearing the voices of the people, which is pretty rich coming from a man who’s never listened to anyone else in his life. He’s being hailed as a political colossus by sections of the British media, which tells you more about the political pygmies who are currently in charge than it does about Gordie.

But let’s not be too churlish.

The most recent intervention, which – like all the others –was Gordie’s first because of the aforementioned gravitational distortions of space-time, produced something genuinely interesting for a change. If you’ve been following Gordie’s pronouncements you may be gobsmacked to discover that the former PM is now calling for another EU referendum because “the situation will be seen to have changed... and the people should in the end have the final say”.

Well, obviously not you, Scotland. Your change of circumstances isn’t enough of a change. Now shut up and show appropriate adulation towards the man who saved the wuld. Not the world. The wuld. The wuld is that fantasy universe in which Gordie remains politically relevant. Gordie is an international statesperson with a global reputation. He’s far too important to pronounce the letter “r”.

The man who assured us during the independence referendum that if Scotland voted no then within two years the UK would become a federal state with Holyrood and the other devolved administrations having equal status to Westminster, seems to believe that the circumstances which have actually transpired for Scotland are not substantially different from what he had promised.

Scotland was told that the only way it could remain a part of the EU was by voting against independence. Scotland was promised that the powers of the Scottish Parliament would be enshrined in law and no Westminster government could change them without Holyrood’s express consent. Scotland was promised rainbows and unicorns and lots and lots of bunting.

The only thing that was delivered was the bunting, and Westminster has been using that to strangle the devolution settlement.

The National:

Kezia Dugdale is performing mental gymnastics to make the case for a People's Vote while rejecting indyref2

There are calls for another referendum on Brexit because people are concerned about what might happen. Politicians such as Gordie and Kezia Dugdale and the LibDems think this is perfectly reasonable and justifiable. However, independence supporters are calling for another referendum because of what has actually happened in the real world, not because of something that might hypothetically happen in the future.

This isn’t good enough for Gordie and his chums – even though the only reason Scotland is currently facing the possibility of food shortages, massive cuts to public services as the UK Government diverts billions to dealing with the consequences of a no-deal Brexit, and the stockpiling of medicines – because they swore blind that only by voting no to independence could Scotland remain politically and economically stable. Of course there should be another referendum on EU membership. Voters were lied to, deceived and misled. What is being delivered is substantially and materially different from what was promised. But that’s exactly why there also ought to be another referendum on Scottish independence. What the British establishment promised Scotland is radically different from what was delivered.

The reasons for demanding a second EU referendum are exactly the same as the reasons for demanding a second Scottish independence referendum. The cant that the EU “People’s Vote” is really a vote on the final deal is just that, cant. It’s another vote on EU membership because the winners of the first one didn’t deliver what they promised.

That’s precisely what Scottish independence supporters are demanding. The next Scottish independence referendum will likewise be a vote on the deal which was actually delivered, one which falls far short of what was promised.

The only difference is that the likes of Gordie get very upset when he’s lied to and deceived, but he seems to believe that he has a Gord given right to deceive just as long as he’s the one doing the deception. That’s why a Gordon is a unit of measurement for political hypocrisy, one which is worth a thousand Murdos.

This week, the UK Government finally runs out of time. Theresa May’s government seems unlikely to cobble together a deal that it can get through Parliament, but neither the Labour nor Conservative leaderships seem disposed to support a second Brexit referendum.

Scotland has been doubly deceived. Deceived by the Better Together campaign, deceived by the Leave campaign. That gives Scotland a double justification for holding a second referendum of its own, and a double reason for independence campaigners to redouble our efforts to ensure that the next time there is a vote (and there will be one soon) Scotland chooses to determine its own path in the world and Europe, so that never again will we be hostage to the egos of politicians who don’t want to be held to account.