HAD a dream this morning. Theresa May and the Donald on the steps outside some grand old English house, probably the old Churchill family pad, Blenheim Palace.

Photies for the newsmen, including Fox (fake) News. The POTUS puts forth his right mitt for the obligatory three-minute handshake. To gasps, then silence, Theresa glowers at him and growls, with a strangely Glaswegian accent, “Naw!”

“Goanie tell me how no?” queries the bemused leader of the “free” world.

“Cos ye cannae shake hauns wi’ a balloon!”

Woke up. The day had started well. I have my doubts it will end that way.

David Crines
Hamilton

OH my goodness! where have I been sleeping? I didn’t know we had become the 51st state of the USA. It’s OK though, the President is allowing us to keep our own legislature as long as the appointment of Prime Minister is approved by him.

In due course he will allow us to send two senators and a number of representatives to Congress whose remit will be vote to support his policies which are literally world-shattering. As with most things in the past, Mrs May kept us guessing on this one.

Mike Underwood
Linlithgow